Hidden Fears
by follow-ur-dreams
Summary: Hermione stood transfixed, shaking slightly. She swallowed and aimed her wand at the unmoving Harry Potter before her, attempting to say the spell. “Ri-Ri- I can’t do this!” Hermione must face a Boggart for the first time, but what she see's shocks every


**A/N- I know this type of story has most likely been done before, so I'm sorry if it sounds similar to someone elses story, but I swear I made it up! Lol and my friend Sami helped me come up with some idea's! See I did mention you sam! Anyway as you'll find out from reading on, this story is set in the seventh year at Hogwarts, and Professor Lupin has been hired once again as Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Have fun reading, I hope ya like it!**

Hidden Fears

"Okay, well since we only have a term to go before your end of year exams we will be starting some revision today. We have moved along quite nicely in Defence Against the Dark Arts this year which has enabled us with extra time to revise, so does anyone have any suggestions of what to do first?" Professor Lupin asked his class of seventh graders as they sat at their desks. Many students' replies were heard as they all answered with different suggestions at once. Professor Lupin raised his hands and the excited students talking ceased. "One at a time, and please raise your hand to give a suggestion."

Students immediately raised their hands into the air and sat up straight. "Yes, Neville, what do you think?"

"Actually, I was wondering if we would be able to try the Riddikulus spell on a Boggart again," Neville replied timidly. Defence against the Dark Arts was a class that Neville had done quite well in, due to a few private lessons with Harry in times of confusion.

"Of course, I've had one sitting in my cupboard since last week! I thought it might come in handy. Now, I've heard that you have not tackled Boggarts since I last taught you all back in third grade, is this correct?" Several mutters of 'yes sir' and nodding heads were made in reply. "Then it would definitely be good to go over everything again. Okay, now before we start, repeat after me without using your wands, Riddikulus!"

"Riddikulus!" The class replied in unison, causing Lupin to smile.

"Excellent! Let's get started. Everyone line up!" Lupin continued, while summoning the cupboard downstairs from his office to the classroom with a swish of his wand. Once the students had all left their seats he waved his wand again, causing all of the desks and tables to stack neatly on top of each other in rows along the sides of the room.

"Brilliant! I wonder if spiders are still my worst fear…" Ron muttered to Harry from their place about a quarter of the way down the line. "Oh well, I'm so glad Professor Lupin returned, this is definitely the best class when he teaches it!"

"Yeah," Harry replied, in a tone that suggested he had not heard a word Ron had said. To be honest he was too busy looking at the back of line, where Hermione stood nervously, letting everyone pass her so that she was the last in line.

Ron moved slightly so that he could follow Harry's gaze. "Why is Hermione standing at the end of the line? She's usually up the front with us."

"That's what I was thinking. I think I'm gonna go stand with her, find out if something's wrong," Harry told Ron, about to walk to where Hermione was when Ron grabbed his arm.

"But if you go back there you probably won't get a shot at the Boggart!" Ron exclaimed. Harry simply shrugged his shoulders and moved out of the line, walking towards Hermione, who was nervously twirling a strand of her wavy hair around her fingers.

"Mione, you okay?" Harry asked in concern, causing Hermione to jump slightly.

"What? Oh, I'm fine," Hermione replied.

"You don't look fine. Is something wrong? You know you can tell me anything don't you?"

Hermione sighed, "It's nothing Harry, really, I'm fine."

"You never could lie to me Hermione, you're not fine. You should be standing up where Ron is, at the front of the line like you usually are, eager to start with the lesson," Harry said with a small smile, "Not hiding at the back of the classroom."

Hermione looked at Harry, deciding whether or not to tell him. "It's just….i didn't get a shot at this last time, I don't know what my worst fear was then, but I'm pretty sure I know what it is now, and I think that it might have been the same back in third grade as well. It's just not something I want to see…ever."

"Hermione, you have to face your fears sometime," he told her gently, but stopped talking when he saw Hermione shiver. "Is it really that bad?" Harry asked quietly, taking her hands in both of his and rubbing them softly, trying to calm her down.

"It isn't a fear like everyone else here has, it isn't a fear of spiders or snakes, if this ever happened…" she faltered for a moment as her voice started to crack. She closed her eyes for a moment and swallowed, trying to get her emotions under control. "Harry, if this ever happened…it would break me. I don't know what I would do."

Harry released her hands and wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder, "Hey, the bell should be going soon anyway, you probably won't even have time to have a go before lunch," he reassured her, giving her shoulder a light squeeze. Hermione smiled shyly at him and nodded her head as the line in front of them slowly moved forward.

"Well, I'm sorry everyone but that's the end of the lesson, we are out of time! Off you go, this is the last lesson for the day and I'm sure you all have things to do!" Professor Lupin shouted over the group of chattering students, earning a simultaneous moan from the class as they grudgingly left the classroom.

Harry and Hermione started to follow Ron out of the class when they were stopped by Lupin's voice. "Hermione, you didn't get a go, and if I remember correctly you didn't have a shot last time either. Would you like a quick go?"

"Actually that's okay Professor, I've got a lot of studying to do," Hermione replied, smiling politely and slowly edging towards the door only to have Ron push her forward.

"Aren't you the least bit curious as to what your worst fear is Hermione?" Ron asked, blocking the doorway so that she couldn't escape.

"Come on guys, she doesn't want too, and it's not like it's going to be in the exams or anything, is it?" Harry said, directing the last part at Lupin.

"Well, I'm not sure as of yet, us teachers do not get to prepare the exams. It depends on who you get as your examiner," Lupin replied.

"So, there is a possibility that it could be in the exam?" Hermione asked timidly, looking at Professor Lupin anxiously as he nodded.

"Exactly, and wouldn't you like to be prepared incase you need to do it in the exam? Besides, what's the worst it could be? Failing a test? Not graduating top of the class?" Ron intervened with a chuckle.

Suddenly Luna arrived at the door, "Ronald! There you are! We were supposed to meet at the library right after class to study, remember?"

"Oh crap! I completely forgot, sorry Luna. Come on, I just need to grab my books from the common room and then we can go," Ron answered, having genuinely forgotten. He wrapped his arm loosely over Luna's shoulder and they walked to the Griffindor common room.

"Ron's right Hermione, you very well may have to perform this spell during the exams. Wouldn't you prefer to know what your fear is so that you can defeat it with the spell on the day, perhaps think of something humorous for it to become?" Lupin said, knowing fully well that there was something upsetting the smartest witch to grace Hogwarts since Lily Potter, but he knew that Hermione would never forgive herself if she didn't do this, especially if she was forced to do so at the exams. He had seen students freeze in fear because they had not practiced the riddikulus spell, and he had no desire to see this happen to Hermione, in fact quite the opposite. He knew something like that would affect her grade and her confidence, which seems to have disappeared as she stood before them, looking warily at the cupboard that was shaking slightly from the restless Boggart that lay beneath its doors.

"If…if you really think I should…how bad can it be?" Hermione responded, trying to portray the question as a rhetorical one, but both Lupin and Harry could see that she was trying to reassure herself that it wouldn't in fact be that bad.

"It'll be fine Mione, I'll be right here, you just need to say the spell and think of something funny. You can do it," Harry told her reassuringly, wanting her to hurry up and defeat the Boggart for her sake, as well as his own. He was quite curious as to what Hermione was this afraid of that he didn't already know about.

Hermione smiled slightly at Harry and started walking slowly towards the now still cupboard. She approached carefully, dreading the image that would appear in front of her very eyes. Suddenly the cupboard shook from the force of the Boggart inside, causing Hermione to jump slightly. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, preparing herself for what was to come.

"Are you ready Hermione?" Lupin asked, standing with his wand at the ready, about to magically open the cupboard doors with his wand. Hermione could only muster a weak nod in return as she drew her wand and held it straight out in front of her.

The doors opened and the Boggart transformed, although rather then approaching Hermione like a Boggart normally did, it stayed exactly where it was, motionless. If what the Boggart had transformed into had been approaching her, alive and well, she would no longer have a problem, that would be the opposite of her fear. Lying on the floor in front of her was a disheveled Harry Potter, hair matter with blood, which most of his body was covered with, making it unidentifiable as to which wound had caused his apparent death. Yes, he was dead. Hermione acknowledged this in the lack of movement from within his chest, from the eerie stillness of his body, from the position of his body, sprawled out on the floor, one arm bent at an unnatural angle, his glasses askew, his normally vivacious eyes closed.

Her wand had been raised this whole time, but she had yet to make a sound, she stood motionless, only the tears streaming down her cheeks showed any sign of movement from the young witch. If truth be told there was a lack of any sound throughout the room, besides the shallow breathing of its three occupants. Lupin appeared stunned, not knowing what to do, never having seen a fear as great as this from a person so young. Seventh graders were not supposed to have these great fears lying beneath the surface, they should be worrying about exams, or talking to friends and family, preparing end of school celebrations, having the time of their lives, perhaps sharing that with the one special person that they had fallen in love with. _That's it, _Lupin realized suddenly. She was in love with Harry.

Harry on the other hand was quite fearful of the scene he saw before him. Not only was he completely stunned but a large wave of guilt had just washed over him. He was her fear. Well not him as such, but him dying, him leaving her forever. He didn't want to be her biggest fear, to have that much power over her, to be able to break her, but he knew that she couldn't help it, he knew because right then he realized that his biggest fear was of Hermione dying. He didn't want to cause her that amount of pain; he didn't want to cause her any pain at all, but that was the worst thing about it. No matter what he did, Harry couldn't prevent it. It was something beyond his control; he couldn't chase it away for her.

Hermione stood transfixed, shaking slightly. She swallowed and aimed her wand at the unmoving Harry Potter before her, attempting to say the spell. "Ri-Ri- I can't do this!" she cried, dropping her wand onto the floor and running out of the classroom.

"Hermione!" Harry shouted, picking up her wand from the floor before chasing after her, hearing Lupin muttering 'Riddikulus' and the sound of the cupboard closing. "Hermione, wait!"

He ran through the corridors, not caring if he got told off or in trouble for breaking that particularly stupid (at least a this point of time) rule. After all, he had never been one to follow rules. She had left the classroom first, and therefore had a head start, but seeing as he was the more athletic one out of the two of them he was able to keep up with her quite easily; at the moment she was just beyond his reach. They ran along corridors and up staircases until they reached the head boy and girl common room, the rooms they shared being head boy and girl themselves. Harry was incredibly grateful at that moment of time that they were both head boy and girl; otherwise he wouldn't have been able to get to her.

Hermione said the password to the portrait without breaking her stride, trying to quickly climb through the portrait hole and into the safety of her dormitory. However she was unsuccessful, her vision was blurred from the flood of tears and her bouts of sobs were making it increasingly difficult for her to breathe, especially while running. She half climbed through the portrait hole before unceremoniously falling the rest of the way to the floor. She leaned her head against the wall just to the side of the portrait hole where she had landed, and covered her face with her hands, shaking with the effort of trying to hold her cries at bay, but not being able to. Seeing Harry like that always had this affect on her, albeit she had never seen a Boggart transform into a lifeless Harry before, but her multiple dreams due to the upcoming war also had the same affect on her.

A moment later Harry climbed through the portrait hole and sat next to Hermione, taking the shaking and distressed girl into his arms. "Hey, it's okay, I'm here, I'm right here," he whispered, muttering comforting words to her as he stroked her hair and ran his hand up and down back, trying to calm her down.

"I-I, I don't know what I would do without you," she managed to say in between sobs, holding onto his waist tightly. "You," she took a deep breath trying to subdue her cries, "_it_," she corrected herself, "it just looked so real."

"Hey, look at me," he commanded, lifting up her chin to look directly at her. "You won't have to worry about that, I'm not going anywhere," he told her reassuringly, tucking a stray strand of wavy brown hair behind her ears.

She looked up at him, her sobs finally ceasing as she shook her head slowly, the occasional tear still making its way down her face. "You can't control that Harry, death is beyond out control, we both know that," she told him, looking straight at him before directing her gaze back to the ground.

Harry sighed deeply, rubbing his face and then running a hand through his hair, one of his habits in times when he was stressed, nervous or unsure of something. "Come on," he told her, holding out his hand and helping her up before leading her over to the couch in the common room they shared. He lay down and pulled Hermione down with him, wrapping his arms securely around her with her head resting comfortably on his shoulder. "I know I can't control death, I mean, look around me, half the people I love are dead, but I'm going to do my best to make sure that doesn't happen for a very, very long time. We all have to die eventually, but what we saw in that classroom, what the Boggart changed into, he didn't look much older then I do know, and he looked like he'd been in a battle, you're afraid I'm going to die in the war, aren't you?" He asked, looking at the top of her head as she kept her head on his chest. He didn't say who the war was against, but they both knew, what other war in the wizarding world would a teenager be allowed to fight in besides the one against Voldemort? That is if you were Harry Potter or one of his closest friends.

She nodded slightly but did not remove her head from its current position, and she didn't open her mouth to say anything as she didn't trust herself to say a coherent sentence and not burst into tears. He kissed her gently on the forehead and started running his fingers through her hair. "I'm going to beat him Hermione, there is no way I'm going to let him get away with what he has done to my family, to innocents, the fear he has caused throughout this world, that wizards are too scared to even say his name, evil like that shouldn't exist, and I will destroy him, even if i-" he stopped abruptly, realizing that what he was about to say certainly wouldn't help the situation.

"Even if you have to die yourself?" she asked timidly, and although it came out as more of a statement rather then a question, she still looked down at him and searched his eyes with hers, as though waiting for an answer he wasn't willing to give.

He didn't give a reply to her question, he knew that he would do whatever necessary to destroy Voldemort, as long as it didn't involve harming innocents, especially his two best friends. He wasn't exactly willing to sacrifice himself to destroy Voldemort, but if that's what it came down to, then that's what would have to happen. He knew that, and so did she.

She smiled softly, "Always the hero," she said quietly, a tear falling down her cheek. He smiled back softly, she was the only one that could get away with calling him that.

"Get up for a sec," he told her, putting his hands on her hips and gently guiding her off of him and into a sitting position before taking her hands in his and rubbing his thumb over them. "It isn't going to come to that, nothing in this world, not even Voldemort, can take me away from you, from Ron, from this life. I deserve a life free of Voldemort, it's what my parents would want. They sacrificed themselves for me so that I could live, not die before my time anyway."

Hermione nodded silently, but didn't say a word, for once she didn't know what to say. She looked down at the ground and began to twist the material of the bottom of her t-shirt around her fingers. She had a pretty good idea of what kind of question Harry would be asking soon, and she still had no idea how to answer it.

"Umm, Hermione, can I ask you something?" Harry asked tentatively, taking hold of Hermione's hands to stop her actions, causing her to look at him.

_Yep. There it is._

"Of-of course you can," she replied, clearing her throat as she continued to have an inner battle with herself. Tell the truth or make up a lie? Her heart was saying the truth, but her head was saying to lie, for the main reason of protecting her heart from the reply it feared.

"Why… why is the thought of me dying such a great fear, I mean I understand why you're scared of it, we're best friends…" Harry trailed off, sighing audibly and running his hand through his hair. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, why me? Why not Ron or your parents or Ginny? And don't say it's because I have the most chance of dying in the war, you're all going to be there as well, no matter how hard I try to make you stay."

Hermione swallowed deeply, she had thought of saying something along those lines as a feeble excuse, but she knew that Harry would see through that, he could always tell when she was lying, as she could with him. "Harry, for once in my life I honestly don't know what to say…."

"You don't know what to say, or you don't know what you _should _say. I know you Hermione, there is something you want to say, you're just not sure if you should or not, you're weighing your options in your head, trying to figure out which answer would work out the best for the both of us."

"Harry, you've just established the fact that we spend way to much time together," Hermione said with a small laugh, marveling at how well Harry knew her, so well that he knew her way of thinking.

Harry smiled also, "The point is," he continued, "that you know what you want to say, you're just unsure of how I'll react to it, and as you don't know for certain what my response will be, why don't you just tell me the truth, and then we can both find out for ourselves."

"I'm just worried that what I say might make you want to walk away from our friendship," Hermione told him nervously, not used to expressing her emotions so clearly, preferring to just bury her head in a book, to escape from this life for an hour or two and experience someone else's in your imagination, or in the case of a factual book such as one of Hermione's favourites 'Hogwarts- A History', becoming so involved in the facts being told that everything else around you becomes blurry until you are able to pretend that it doesn't exist, every fibre of your body tuned into the pages before you. _But no, this isn't a book, this isn't a dream. I'm gonna have to tell him the truth, pray that he doesn't hate me, and hope that he feels the same way I do._

"Mione, there is nothing that would make me walk away from our friendship, except perhaps if you were to sleep with Malfoy, then I don't think I'd ever be able to look at you in the same way…" he trailed off with a smirk, smiling when he saw Hermione mock-glare at him, he knew it was only a playful glare due to the fact that her lips were curved into a grin. _She looks so gorgeous when she smiles, not that she doesn't always._

"It's just…ummm…hey, is that a flying horse?" Hermione asked suddenly, walking over to the window and pretending to look at the creature that she was pretending to see.

"Hermione, that trick barely ever works unless you say, 'Hey! Is that a sprinkled doughnut?!' to Dudley. It definitely doesn't work in the Wizarding World where flying horses do in fact exist," Harry said with a chuckle and a lopsided smile, as Hermione smiled sheepishly at him.

"Worth a try," she said with a shrug.

Walking over to the windows he sat onto an oversized armchair, leaned over and grabbed Hermione by the waist, pulling her down onto his lap and wrapping his arms securely around her, providing her with no escape what-so-ever, and Hermione honestly didn't want an escape route at that time. Sitting on Harry's lap was always something she was glad to comply with, on a daily basis if necessary.

"Now, answer the question, I promise it won't end our friendship," Harry reassured her, gently pushed a strand of curly hair behind her ear.

"Alright, you know what? I'm going to tell you, and if you react in a way that I really don't want you to I'll run upstairs, cry for a bit, and when I come back done the stairs we both act like this conversation never happened. Deal?" Hermione asked, holding out her hand for Harry to shake.

"Deal," Harry replied, shaking her hand and sealing the deal.

"Okay, Harry, ummm, there's something I've wanted to tell you for the longest time, since third year actually. It wasn't that I didn't want to tell you it was more that I could never really find the right time and now seems to be the right time, well actually it may not be the right time but since we now have a deal it's gonna have to be the right time even if it-"

"Hermione!" Harry interrupted, laughing at seeing Hermione babbling on incoherently. "I've caused you to babble, that doesn't happen very often, I feel quite proud."

"Yeah, well, anyway…" she looked up at him then, finally making her decision on how to approach this. "You know what? Words don't seem to be working that well for me today, I think I'm going to try to show you instead."

"Oka-" and that's the moment they would both remember for the rest of their lives. Their first kiss.

And Hermione was incredibly happy because Harry was kissing her back. And he didn't waste time thinking about it either, the moment her lips came crashing into his he kissed back, well with the exception of half a second or so for him to realize what was going on. She smiled against his lips as the pulled apart, due to the need for oxygen.

"Well, I definitely like the showing part, but do I get the words just to clarify things?" Harry asked with a grin, eyebrows raised at the girl he adored so deeply.

"I think that kiss definitely deserved the words. You must have practiced a lot on that blow-up doll to perfect a kiss that well," she replied teasingly.

"Hey!" Harry said indignantly, removing his arms from Hermione's waist to tickle her sides mercilessly.

Hermione was laughing so much she was almost in tears, and she had managed involuntarily to roll off of the armchair and on to the floor. This didn't stop Harry however, and almost instantly he was on the floor beside her, tickling her once more.

Finally giving into Hermione's plea's of surrender he stopped, deciding instead to lay on top of her, his arms on either side of her body, before kissing her deeply on the lips.

"I love you Harry," Hermione told him once they pulled apart as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"I love you too," Harry replied, leaning down and kissing her gently on the lips. "And you know that the blow-up doll's Ron's!"

Hermione laughed loudly, earning a grin from Harry in return before grabbing his shirt collar and pulling his face to hers, kissing him deeply.

"You know, you're a lot better at kissing then that blow-up doll," Harry told her with a cheeky smile, causing Hermione to giggle. She had a feeling she'd be doing that a lot from now on.

"I'd hope so!"

"But you know, just incase, I think we should try again, perhaps in my dormitory?" Harry suggested, wiggling his eyebrows playfully at her.

"Harry James Potter! Are you trying to get me into bed?" Hermione asked just as playfully, running a finger down his chest.

"Always," Harry replied wistfully, laughing when Hermione hit him lightly on the shoulder.

"I'm just kidding baby," he said in reply, kissing her softly on the nose.

"Hmm baby, I like it."

"I thought ya might."

"So what am I to call you then Potter."

"Whatever you would like Granger."

Hermione thought it over for a bit, "For now I'll go with gorgeous. Hey gorgeous, yeah, I like it!" she replied with a grin.

"I'm glad, as long as you don't call me beautiful or anything, it sounds too girly," Harry told her, stroking her hair unconsciously. "Hey, I could call you that!"

"I'm not beautiful Harry."

"Yes, you are," he replied sternly, kissing her deeply on the lips.

"Well, who am I to argue?"

Harry smiled, "I love you, beautiful."

"I love you too, gorgeous."

**A/N- I know some of you may find the ending a bit cheesy but I think it's cute! Lol I love h/hr fluff if you didn't figure that out. Anyway please read and review I'd love to know what ya think!**


End file.
